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Choosing the Right Words and Phrases

This section discusses four principles that will help you use the right words and phrases in the right places: select an appropriate level of formality, be clear and specific, be concise, and use inoffensive language.

Although no standard definition of levels of formality exists, most experts would agree that there are three levels:

Technical communication usually requires a moderately formal or highly formal style.

To achieve the appropriate level and tone, think about your audience, your subject, and your purpose:

In general, it is better to err on the side of formality. Avoid an informal style in any writing you do at the office, for two reasons:

Follow these seven guidelines to make your writing clear and specific:

Use Active and Passive Voice Appropriately In a sentence using the active voice, the subject performs the action expressed by the verb: the “doer” of the action is the grammatical subject. By contrast, in a sentence using the passive voice, the recipient of the action is the grammatical subject. Compare the following examples (the subjects are italicized):

In most cases, the active voice works better than the passive voice because it emphasizes the agent (the doer of the action). An active-voice sentence also is shorter because it does not require a form of the verb to be and the past participle, as a passive-voice sentence does. In the active version of the example sentence, the verb is drove rather than was driven, and the word by does not appear.

The passive voice, however, is generally better in these four cases:

Some people believe that the active voice is inappropriate in technical communication because it emphasizes the person who does the work rather than the work itself, making the writing less objective. In many cases, this objection is valid. Why write “I analyzed the sample for traces of iodine” if there is no ambiguity about who did the analysis or no need to identify who did it? The passive focuses on the action, not the actor: “The samples were analyzed for traces of iodine.” But if in doubt, use the active voice.

Other people argue that the passive voice produces a double ambiguity. In the sentence “The samples were analyzed for traces of iodine,” the reader is not quite sure who did the analysis (the writer or someone else) or when it was done (during the project or some time previously). Identifying the actor can often clarify both ambiguities.

The best approach is to recognize that the two voices differ and to use each one where it is most effective.

Many grammar-checkers can help you locate the passive voice. Some of them will advise you that the passive is undesirable, almost an error, but this advice is misleading. Use the passive voice when it works better than the active voice for your purposes.

Any word processor allows you to search for the forms of to be used most commonly in passive-voice expressions: is, are, was, and were. You can also search for ed to isolate past participles (for example, purchased, implemented, and delivered); such past participles appear in most passive-voice constructions.

Be Specific Being specific involves using precise words, providing adequate detail, and avoiding ambiguity.

If you don’t have the specific data, you should approximate—and clearly tell readers you are doing so—or explain why the specific data are unavailable and indicate when they will be available:

The fuel leakage is much greater than we had anticipated; we estimate it to be at least 5 gallons per minute, not 2.

The fuel leakage is much greater than we had anticipated; we expect to have specific data by 4 P.M. today.

Avoid Unnecessary Jargon Jargon is shoptalk. To an audiophile, LP is a long-playing record; to an engineer, it is liquid propane; to a guitarist, it is a Gibson Les Paul model; to a physician, it is a lumbar puncture; to a drummer, it is Latin Percussion, a drum maker.

Jargon is often ridiculed; many dictionaries define it as “writing that one does not understand” or “nonsensical, incoherent, or meaningless talk.” However, jargon is useful in its proper sphere. For one thing, jargon enables members of a particular profession to communicate clearly and economically with one another.

If you are addressing a technically knowledgeable audience, use jargon recognized in that field. However, keep in mind that technical documents often have many audiences in addition to the primary audience. When in doubt, avoid jargon; use more-common expressions or simpler terms.

Using jargon inappropriately is inadvisable for four reasons:

Use Positive Constructions The term positive construction has nothing to do with being cheerful. It indicates that the writer is describing what something is instead of what it is not. In the sentence “I was sad to see this project completed,” “sad” is a positive construction. The negative construction would be “not happy.”

Here are a few more examples of positive and negative constructions:

Readers understand positive constructions more quickly and more easily than negative constructions. Consider the following examples:

Avoid Long Noun Strings A noun string contains a series of nouns (or nouns, adjectives, and adverbs), all of which together modify the last noun. For example, in the phrase parking-garage regulations, the first pair of words modifies regulations. Noun strings save time, and if your readers understand them, they are fine. It is easier to write passive-restraint system than a system that uses passive restraints.

Hyphens can clarify noun strings by linking words that go together. For example, in the phrase flat-panel monitor, the hyphen links flat and panel. Together they modify monitor. In other words, it is not a flat panel or a panel monitor, but a flat-panel monitor. However, noun strings are sometimes so long or so complex that hyphens can’t ensure clarity. To clarify a long noun string, untangle the phrases and restore prepositions, as in the following example:

Noun strings can sometimes be ambiguous—they can have two or more plausible meanings, leaving readers to guess at which meaning you’re trying to convey.

An additional danger is that noun strings can sometimes sound pompous. If you are writing about a simple smoke detector, there is no reason to call it a smoke-detection device or, worse, a smoke-detection system.

Avoid Clichés Good writing is original and fresh. Rather than use a cliché, say what you want to say in plain English. Current clichés include pushing the envelope; synergy; mission critical; bleeding edge; paradigm shift; and been there, done that. The best advice is to avoid clichés: if you are used to hearing or reading a phrase, don’t use it. Jimi Hendrix was a rock star; the Employee of the Month sitting in the next cubicle isn’t. Don’t think outside the box, pick low-hanging fruit, leverage your assets, bring your “A” game, be a change agent, raise the bar, throw anyone under a bus, be proactive, put lipstick on a pig, or give 110 percent. And you can assume that everyone already knows that it is what it is.

Avoid Euphemisms A euphemism is a polite way of saying something that makes people uncomfortable. For instance, a near miss between two airplanes is officially an “air proximity incident.” The more uncomfortable the subject, the more often people resort to euphemisms. Dozens of euphemisms deal with drinking, bathrooms, sex, and death. Here are several euphemisms for firing someone:

The following five principles can help you write concise technical documents:

Avoid Obvious Statements Writing can become sluggish if it overexplains. The italicized words in the following example are sluggish:

Avoid Filler In our writing, we sometimes use filler, much of which is more suited to speech. Consider the following examples:

Such words are common in oral communication, when we need to think fast, but they are meaningless in writing.

But modifiers are not always meaningless. For instance, it might be wise to use I think or it seems to me to show that you are aware of other views.

Of course, a sentence that sounds blunt to one reader can sound self-confident to another. As you write, keep your audience’s preferences and expectations in mind.

Other fillers include redundant expressions, such as collaborate together, past history, end result, any and all, still remain, completely eliminate, and very unique. Say it once.

Avoid Unnecessary Prepositional Phrases A prepositional phrase consists of a preposition followed by a noun or a noun equivalent, such as in the summary, on the engine, and under the heading. Unnecessary prepositional phrases, often used along with abstract nouns and nominalizations, can make your writing long and boring.

Avoid Wordy Phrases Wordy phrases also make writing long and boring. For example, some people write on a daily basis rather than daily. The long phrase may sound more important, but daily says the same thing more concisely.

Table 10.1 lists common wordy phrases and their more concise equivalents.

Compare the following wordy sentence and its concise translation:

Avoid Fancy Words Writers sometimes think they will impress their readers by using fancy words—utilize for use, initiate for begin, perform for do, due to for because, and prioritize for rank. In technical communication, plain talk is best. Compare the following fancy sentence with its plain-English version:

Table 10.2 lists commonly used fancy words and their plain equivalents.

Writing to avoid offense is not merely a matter of politeness; it is a matter of perception. Language reflects attitudes, but it also helps to form attitudes. Writing inoffensively is one way to break down stereotypes.

For books about nonsexist writing, see the Selected Bibliography. Many of the books in the Usage and General Writing, Handbooks for Grammar and Style, and Style Manuals sections address nonsexist writing.

Nonsexist Language You can use your word processor to search for he, man, and men, the words and parts of words most often associated with sexist writing. Some grammar-checkers identify common sexist terms and suggest alternatives. But use what you know about the world. You don’t want to produce a sentence like this one from a benefits manual: “Every employee is responsible for the cost of his or her gynecological examination.”

People-First Language for Referring to People with Disabilities Almost one in five Americans—some 56 million people—has a physical, sensory, emotional, or mental impairment that interferes with daily life (U.S. Census Bureau, 2012). In writing about people with disabilities, use the “people-first” approach: treat the person as someone with a disability, not as someone defined by that disability. The disability is a condition the person has, not what the person is.