Avoiding redundancy

Redundant expressions such as cooperate together, close proximity, basic essentials, and true fact are a common source of wordiness. There is no need to say the same thing twice.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Revised sentence: Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.

Though modifiers ordinarily add meaning to the words they modify, occasionally they are redundant.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Sylvia very hurriedly scribbled her name, address, and phone number on the back of a greasy napkin. Revised sentence: Sylvia scribbled her name, address, and phone number on the back of a greasy napkin.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Joel was determined in his mind to lose weight. Revised sentence: Joel was determined to lose weight.

The words scribbled and determined already contain the notions suggested by the modifiers very hurriedly and in his mind.

Exercises:

Wordy sentences 1

Wordy sentences 2

Wordy sentences 3

Wordy sentences 4