The Assignment: Observing a Scene

Observe a place near your campus, home, or job and the people who frequent it. Then write a paper that describes the place, the people, and their actions so as to convey the spirit of the place and offer some insight into its impact on the people.

This assignment is meant to start you observing closely enough that you go beyond the obvious. Go somewhere nearby, and station yourself where you can mingle with the people there. Open all your senses so that you see, smell, taste, hear, and feel. Jot down what you immediately notice, especially the atmosphere and its effect on the people there. Take notes describing the location, people, actions, and events you see. Then use your observations to convey the spirit of the scene. What is your main impression of the place? Of the people there? Of the relationship between people and place? Your purpose is not only to describe the scene but also to express thoughts and feelings connected with what you observe.

Three student writers wrote about these observations:

One student, who works nights in the emergency room, observed the scene and the community that abruptly forms when an accident victim arrives: medical staff, patient, friends, and relatives.

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Another observed a bar mitzvah celebration that reunited a family for the first time in many years.

Another observed the activity in the stands in a stadium before, during, and after a soccer game.

When you select the scene you wish to observe, find out from the person in charge whether you’ll need to request permission to observe there, as you might at a school, a business, or another restricted or privately owned site.

Generating Ideas

Although setting down observations might seem cut-and-dried, to many writers it is true discovery. Here are some ways to generate such observations.

Brainstorm. First, choose a scene to observe. What places interest you? Which are memorable? Start brainstorming—listing rapidly any ideas that come to mind. Here are a few questions to help you start your list:

Get Out and Look. If nothing on your list strikes you as compelling, plunge into the world to see what you see. Visit a city street or country hillside, a student event or practice field, a contest, a lively scene—a mall, an airport, a fast-food restaurant, a student hangout—or a scene with only a few people sunbathing, walking dogs, or playing basketball. Observe for a while, and then mix and move to gain different views.

Record Your Observations. Alea Eyre’s essay “Stockholm” began with some notes about her vivid memories of her trip. She was able to mine those memories for details to bring her subject to life.

Your notes on a subject—or tentative subject—can be taken in any order or methodically. To draw up an “observation sheet,” fold a sheet of paper in half lengthwise. Label the left column “Objective,” and impartially list what you see, like a zoologist looking at a new species of moth. Label the right column “Subjective,” and list your thoughts and feelings about what you observe. The quality of your paper will depend in large part on the truthfulness and accuracy of your observations. Your objective notes will trigger more subjective ones.

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Include a Range of Images. Have you captured not just sights but sounds, textures, odors? Have you observed from several vantage points or on several occasions to deepen your impressions? Have you added sketches or doodles to your notes, perhaps drawing the features or shape of the place? Can you begin writing as you continue to observe? Have you noticed how other writers use images, evoking sensory experience, to record what they sense? In the memoir Northern Farm, naturalist Henry Beston describes a remarkable sound: “the voice of ice,” the midwinter sound of a whole frozen pond settling and expanding in its bed.

Planning, Drafting, and Developing

After recording your observations, look over your notes, circling whatever looks useful. Maybe you can rewrite your notes into a draft, throwing out details that don’t matter, leaving those that do. Maybe you’ll need a plan to help you organize all the observations, laying them out graphically or in a simple scratch outline.

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Start with a Main Impression or Thesis. What main insight or impression do you want to convey? Answering this question will help you decide which details to include, which to omit, and how to avoid a dry list of facts.

If all the details that you’ve gathered seem to be overwhelming your ability to arrive at a main impression, take a break (and maybe a walk) and try to think of a statement that sums things up. One good example of a summary statement is Alea Eyre’s “As soon as I stepped off the plane ramp, I was enveloped into a brand new world.”

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Organize to Show Your Audience Your Point. How do you map out a series of observations? Your choice depends on your purpose and the main impression you want to create. Whatever your choice, add transitions—words or phrases to guide the reader from one vantage point, location, or idea to the next.

As you create your “picture,” you bring a place to life using the details that capture its spirit. If your instructor approves, consider whether adding a photograph, sketch, diagram, or other illustration—with a caption—would enhance your written observation.

Revising and Editing

Your revising, editing, and proofreading will be easier if you have accurate notes on your observations. But what if you don’t have enough detail for your draft? If you have doubts, go back to the scene to take more notes.

Focus on a Main Impression or Thesis. As you begin to revise, have a friend read your observation, or read it yourself as if you had never seen the place you observed. Note gaps that would puzzle a reader, restate the spirit of the place, or sharpen the description of the main impression you want to convey in your thesis.

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Add Relevant and Powerful Details. Next, check your selection of details. Does each detail contribute to your main impression? Should any be dropped or added? Should any be rearranged so that your organization, moving point to point, is clearer? Could some observations be described more vividly, powerfully, or concretely? Could vague words such as very, really, great, or beautiful be replaced with more specific words? (Use Find to locate repetition, so you can reword for variety.)

To see where your draft could need work, consider these questions:

After you revise your essay, edit and proofread it. Carefully check the grammar, word choice, punctuation, and mechanics—and then correct any problems. If you added details, consider whether they’re sufficiently blended with the ideas already there. Some questions to get you started: