2

CHAPTER 1

3

The People and the Field

Susan is having a party to celebrate Carl’s wonderful life. Losing her husband was tough, but Susan takes comfort in the fact that during their 50-plus-year-long marriage, she and her husband amassed so many friends—people of every age, ethnicity, and social group. After Carl’s death, everyone flooded Susan’s Facebook page with expressions of love. But, being from a different era, Susan craves having her friends physically close, to hug and reminisce about Carl.

First to arrive on Saturday were Maria and baby Josiah, whom Susan and Carl met on a cross-country trip to Las Vegas five years ago. Then, Mathew and Jamila, the lovely couple who were on last year’s Alaskan cruise, knocked on the door. For Susan, bonding with her new 40-something friends on that 10-day trip through the Glaciers offered a lesson in how the world has changed. Susan and Carl married at age 21—at a time when middle-class women often stopped working after getting married, and gender roles were clearly defined. Jamila waited until she got her career in order at age 35 to get married, met Matt on-line, and even selected a husband of a different race. How, despite juggling step-kids and full-time jobs, have Matt and Jamila mastered the secret of staying in love for more than 10 years?

Finally, Kim, her husband Jeff, and baby Elissa drove up. Although Susan was devastated when this close neighborhood couple moved across the country 9 months ago, she has been thrilled to witness Elissa’s transformations through the miracles of Skype. Now, it’s time to (finally) envelope that precious 1-year-old in her arms and hear, in person, about everyone else’s lives!

As they sit down to dinner, Kim reports that since Elissa began walking, she doesn’t slow down for a minute. Actually, it’s kind of depressing. Elissa used to go to Susan with a smile. Now, all she wants is Mom. The transformation in Josiah is even more astonishing. Now that he is 8, that precious child can talk to you like an adult!

Over the next hour, the talk turns to deeper issues: Kim shares her anxieties about putting Elissa in day care. Matt talks about the trials and joys of step-fatherhood. Maria opens up about the challenges of being a single parent, an immigrant, and ethnic minority in the United States. Jamila informs the group that she wants to make a difference. She is returning to school for a Ph.D. But can she make it academically at age 53?

Susan tells the group not to worry. The sixties and early seventies (until Carl’s massive stroke) were the happiest time of their lives. Now, with her slowness, her progressing vision problems, and especially that frightening fall she took at Kroger’s last week, the future looks bleaker. Susan knows that life is precious. She treasures every moment she has left. But the eighties won’t be like the seventies. What will happen when she really gets old?

Is Susan right that the sixties and early seventies are life’s happiest stage? If you met Susan at age 30 or 50, would she be the same upbeat person as today? Are Jamila’s worries about her mental abilities realistic, and what are some secrets for staying passionately in love with your spouse? Why do 1-year-olds such as Elissa get clingy just as they begin walking, and what mental leaps make children at age 8, such as Josiah, seem so grown up? How has the social media revolution affected how we relate?

Developmentalists, also called developmental scientists—researchers who study the lifespan—are about to answer these questions and hundreds of others about our unfolding life.