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CHAPTER 12

Adulthood

Body and Mind

Jenny was in her early 30s, a star in my human development class long ago, before my first textbook was published. She told the class that she was divorced, raising her 9-year-old daughter, her 7-year-old son, and two orphaned teenage nephews (sons of her former husband’s sister) in public housing in the south Bronx. She spoke eloquently and enthusiastically about free activities for the four children—public parks, museums, the zoo, Fresh Air Fund camp. We were awed by her creativity and energy.

A year later, Jenny came to my office to speak privately. She said she was four weeks pregnant. The father, Billy, was a married man. He had told her he would not leave his wife but that he would pay for an abortion. She loved him and feared he might end their relationship if she did not terminate the pregnancy. She wanted to talk to me first.

I learned more. She was not opposed to abortion on religious grounds; her 7-year-old son needed speech therapy; she thought she was too old to have another infant; she was a carrier for sickle-cell anemia, which had complicated her most recent pregnancy; her crowded apartment was no longer “babyproof”; her mother could not babysit since she needed caregiving herself.

Jenny was about to graduate with her associate degree and had found a job that would enable her family to leave their dangerous neighborhood. She was eager to get on with her adult life. After a long conversation, she thanked me profusely—even though I had only asked questions, provided facts, and listened.

Then she surprised me:

“I’ll have the baby,” she said. “Men come and go, but children are always with you.”

I had thought her narrative was leading to a different conclusion, but her values shaped her life, not mine. We all make decisions about our bodies and our futures, ideally after discussing facts and implications with someone we trust.

Adulthood covers four decades, from ages 25 to 65. As with Jenny, questions about childbearing and caretaking arise throughout adulthood, as do concerns about health. This chapter explains facts about aging, sex, reproduction, disease, and more, and then it describes adult cognition. Adults use their minds to sort through facts, emotions, and values, leading to unexpected thoughts and personal decisions.

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Expertise is also described in this chapter. Jenny came to me not for advice but because she believed I am an expert in human development. I told her about age (she was not too old to have a baby) and about genes (Billy should be tested for sickle-cell anemia), but Jenny was the expert about her own situation—which will become clear at the end of this chapter.