BACKGROUND

One relationship challenge we face is forging constructive, collaborative work relationships with people whom we judge to be “outgroupers.” This can be even more challenging when we’ve formed negative impressions of them and they begin to behave in questionable ways. To understand how you might competently manage such a relationship challenge, read the case study and work through the five steps under Your Turn.

CASE STUDY

Your professor assigns a group project that will count for a significant portion of your final course grade.³ Each group member gets two grades for the project: one for the group presentation and one for individual contribution. The professor selects you as a group leader. Your responsibilities include making sure that each group member gets his or her work done and telling the professor what grade you think each person deserves. The professor will evaluate you in part based upon your skill as group leader.

At your first group meeting, everyone is on time except Dylan. He apologizes and says that “something came up.” As everyone introduces themselves, it becomes clear that Dylan’s tardiness isn’t his only difference from you and the others. He’s wearing a shirt emblazoned with extreme political slogans, viewpoints opposed to yours. It quickly becomes clear that his religious beliefs are dissimilar as well. The more you talk with him, the more you dislike him.

Despite your distaste for Dylan, the meeting goes well. The project you all decide on is interesting and provocative. A ton of research needs to be done, but split several ways you might get it done—if everyone does his or her fair share. If even one person fails to follow through, however, it will be a disaster. You exit the meeting excited but anxious.

As the project progresses, Dylan seldom makes it to meetings on time and skips one meeting entirely. At that meeting, two members petition you to remove him from the group, but others argue for keeping him. You decide to give Dylan another chance. A few hours later, Dylan e-mails you an apology, saying he’s been “dealing with family problems.” He offers to do extra research to make amends, and you gladly accept his offer, as you’re stressed about getting the project done.

It’s Thursday afternoon. The group’s in-class presentation is next Tuesday. The plan is to rehearse tomorrow afternoon, then use the weekend to do any final tweaking that needs to be done. Your phone rings, and it’s Dylan. He says, “I am so sorry, but I don’t have my research done yet, and can’t get it done by tomorrow. My family situation has been holding me back. Can I have more time?”

YOUR TURN

Think about the interpersonal communication concepts, skills, and insights you have learned while reading this book, especially in this chapter. Try to keep all of this in mind while working through the following five steps, which will help you become aware of how you can make better interpersonal communication choices in your relationships. Remember, there are no right answers, so think hard about what choice you will make! (Review the Helpful Concepts listed below.)

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