WRITING YOUR INTRODUCTION, CONCLUSION, AND TITLE

When you write an essay, you don’t have to start with the title and introduction and write straight through to the end. Some students prefer to write the body of the essay first and then return to the introduction. (Often your true thesis emerges only in the conclusion.) Others prefer to write a tentative introduction as a way of getting started. Some students think of a title before they start writing; others find it easier to add a title when the essay is finished. Regardless of when you write them, the introduction, conclusion, and title are important components of a well-written essay.

WRITING A STRONG INTRODUCTION

Introductions often start with a fairly general statement of the topic and narrow their focus until they reach the thesis statement at the end of the paragraph. However you begin, your readers should be able to form an expectation of what the essay will be about from this section. Because the introduction creates a first, and often lasting, impression, take the time to get it right.

An effective introduction should:

Notice how each of the two sample introductions that follow, both on sexual harassment, creates an entirely different impression and set of expectations.

Sets tone: Tone is reasonable yet with mild sense of disbelief

INTRODUCTION 1

Engages readers/provides background: Grabs readers’ attention with provocative example

Sexual harassment has received a great deal of attention in recent years. From the highest offices of government and the military to factories in small towns, sexual harassment cases have been tried in court and publicized on national television for all Americans to witness. This focus on sexual harassment has been, in and of itself, a good and necessary thing. However, when a first-grade boy makes national headlines because he kissed a little girl of the same age and is accused of “sexual harassment,” the American public needs to take a serious look at the definition of sexual harassment.

Thesis: Thesis prepares readers for an essay that examines definitions of sexual harassment and perhaps offers one.

Sets tone: Tone is outraged, angry

INTRODUCTION 2

Sexual harassment in the workplace seems to happen with alarming frequency. As a woman who works part time in a male-dominated office, I have witnessed at least six incidents of sexual harassment aimed at me and my female colleagues on various occasions during the past three months alone. For example, in one incident, a male coworker repeatedly made kissing sounds whenever I passed his desk, even after I explained that his actions made me uncomfortable. A female coworker was invited to dinner several times by her male supervisor; each time she refused. The last time she refused, he made a veiled threat: “You obviously aren’t happy working with me. Perhaps a transfer is in order”. These incidents were not isolated, did not happen to only one woman, and were initiated by more than one man. My colleagues and I are not the only victims. Sexual harassment is on the rise and will continue to increase unless women speak out against it loudly and to a receptive audience.

Engages readers/provides background: Provides specific, distressing examples

An introduction can be difficult to write. If you have trouble, return to it later, once you have written the body of your essay. As you draft, you may think of a better way to grab your readers, set your tone, and establish your focus.

Thesis: Thesis prepares readers for an essay that suggests ways women can speak out against sexual harassment.

The following suggestions for writing a strong introduction will help you capture your readers’ interest:

  1. Ask a provocative or disturbing question, or pose a series of related questions to direct readers’ attention to your key points.

    Should health insurance companies pay for more than one stay in a drug rehabilitation center? Should insurance continue to pay for rehab services when patients consistently put themselves back into danger by using drugs again?

  2. Begin with a dramatic or engaging anecdote or an example that is relevant to your thesis.

    The penal system sometimes protects the rights of the criminal instead of those of the victim. For example, during a rape trial, the defense attorney can question the victim about his or her sexual history, but the prosecuting attorney is forbidden by law to mention that the defendant was charged with rape in a previous trial. In fact, if the prosecution even hints at the defendant’s sexual history, the defense can request a mistrial.

  3. Offer a quotation that illustrates or emphasizes your thesis.

    As Indira Gandhi once said, “You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.” This truism is important to remember whenever people communicate with one another but particularly when they are attempting to resolve a conflict. Both parties need to agree that there is a problem and then agree to listen to each other with an open mind. Shaking hands is a productive way to begin working toward a resolution.

  4. Cite a little-known fact or shocking statistic.

    Recent research has shown that the color pink has a calming effect on people. In fact, a prison detention center in western New York was recently painted pink to make prisoners more controllable in the days following their arrest.

  5. State a commonly held misconception, and correct this misconception in your thesis.

    Many people have the mistaken notion that only homosexuals and drug users are in danger of contracting AIDS. In fact, many heterosexuals also suffer from this debilitating disease. Furthermore, the number of heterosexuals who test HIV-positive has increased substantially over the past decade. It is time the American public became better informed about the prevention and treatment of AIDS.

  6. Describe a hypothetical situation.

    Suppose you were in a serious car accident and became unconscious. Suppose further that you slipped into a coma, with little hope for recovery. Unless you had a prewritten health-care proxy that designated someone familiar with your wishes to act on your behalf, your fate would be left in the hands of doctors who knew nothing about you or your preferences for treatment.

  7. Compare your topic with one that is familiar or of special interest to your readers.

    The process a researcher uses to locate a specific piece of information in the library is similar to the process an investigator follows in tracking a criminal; both pose a series of questions and follow clues to answer them.

WRITING AN EFFECTIVE CONCLUSION

Write a conclusion that brings your essay to a satisfying close. For most essays, your conclusion should reaffirm your thesis without directly restating it. For lengthy essays, you may want to summarize your main points. Shorter essays can be ended more memorably and forcefully by using one of the following suggestions.

  1. Take your readers beyond the scope and time frame of your essay.

    For now, then, the present system for policing the Internet appears to be working. In the future, though, it may be necessary to put a more formal, structured procedure in place.

  2. Remind readers of the relevance of the issue or suggest why your thesis is important.

    As stated earlier, research has shown that the seat-belt law has saved thousands of lives. These lives would almost certainly have been lost had this law not been enacted.

  3. Offer a recommendation or urge your readers to take action.

    To convince the local cable company to eliminate pornographic material, concerned citizens should organize, contact their local cable station, and threaten to cancel their subscriptions.

  4. Discuss broader implications not fully addressed in the essay (but do not introduce a completely new issue).

    When fair-minded people consider whether the FBI should be allowed to tap private phone lines, the issue inevitably leads them to the larger issue of First Amendment rights.

  5. Conclude with a fact, quotation, anecdote, or example that emphasizes your thesis.

    The next time you are tempted to send a strongly worded email, consider this fact: Your friends and your enemies can forward those messages, with unforeseen consequences to you.

INTRODUCTIONS AND CONCLUSIONS: FOUR COMMON MISTAKES TO AVOID
  1. In your introduction, don’t . . .
  1. In your conclusion, don’t . . .
  1. make an announcement. Avoid opening comments such as “I am writing to explain . . .” or “This essay will discuss . . .”
  1. make an announcement or a restate your thesis directly. Statements like “In my essay I have shown. . . .” are dull and mechanical.
  1. prolong your introduction unnecessarily. An introduction that is longer than two paragraphs will probably sound long-winded and make your readers impatient.
  1. introduce major points or supporting evidence. Reasons and evidence that support your thesis belong in the body of your essay.
  1. discourage your readers from continuing. Statements such as “This process may seem complicated, but . . .” may make your readers apprehensive.
  1. apologize or weaken your stance. Do not say, for example, “Although I am only twenty-one, . . .” or back down after criticizing someone by saying “After all, she’s only human.”
  1. use a casual, overly familiar, or chatty tone, especially in academic writing. Openings such as “You’ll never in a million years believe what happened . . .” are generally not appropriate for college essays.
  1. use standard phrases. Don’t use phrases such as “To sum up,” “In conclusion,” or “It can be seen, then.” They are routine and tiresome.

WRITING A GOOD TITLE

The title of your essay should indicate your topic and prepare readers for what follows. Titles such as “Baseball Fans” or “Gun Control,” which just indicate the topic, provide readers with little information or incentive to continue reading. For academic essays, write straightforward titles that accurately describe your topic and approach.

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For other writing situations—depending on your purpose, audience, stance, genre, and medium—your title may be direct, informative, witty, intriguing, or a combination of these. The following suggestions will help you write effective titles.

Essay in Progress 3

Using the outline or graphic organizer you created in Essay in Progress 2, write a first draft of your essay.