Quick help: Concise language

Avoid redundancy.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Daniel is now employed at a private rehabilitation center working as a registered physical therapist. Revised sentence: Daniel works at a private rehabilitation center as a registered physical therapist.

Avoid unnecessary repetition.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Our fifth patient, in room is, is a mentally ill patient. Revised sentence: Our fifth patient, in room is, is mentally ill.

Cut empty or inflated language.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: We will file the appropriate papers in the event that we are unable to meet the deadline. Revised sentence: We will file the appropriate papers if we are unable to meet the deadline. Explanation: The words “in the event that” are replaced by “if.”

Choose strong verbs.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: Eduartina is responsible for monitoring and balancing the budgets for travel and personnel. Revised sentence: Eduartina monitors and balances the budgets for travel and personnel. Explanation: The words “is responsible for monitoring and balancing” are replaced by “monitors and balances.”

Begin with strong subjects and verbs.

Example sentence with editing. Original sentence: There is another module that tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution. Revised sentence: Another module tells the story of Charles Darwin and introduces the theory of evolution.

Exercises: