BACKGROUND

All romantic relationships face challenges. But when a partner whom you love, and who is adored by friends and family, begins behaving erratically because of jealousy, your communication skills and relationship decision making are put to the test. To consider how you might deal with such a dilemma, read the case study and work through the five steps under Your Turn.

CASE STUDY

Your relationship with Taegan is the most passionate you’ve yet experienced, and you consider yourself “head-over-heels in love.” Taegan is extremely attractive, and you two share a powerful sexual connection. But sense of humor, intelligence, and charisma are Taegan’s most alluring qualities. Your family adores Taegan, and your best friend thinks Taegan is “a hottie.” Although your feelings developed quickly, you were surprised by how rapidly Taegan invested: within days of first meeting you, Taegan was insisting, “You and I are meant to be!”

Last week, however, a troubling incident occurred at a party. Taegan and you were having a great time until you decided to spend a few minutes catching up with your friend Chris, whom you hadn’t seen in a while. Although you’re not romantically interested in Chris, Chris is very attractive. Seeing you hug Chris good-bye, Taegan blew up, “Don’t think I don’t know what’s going on here!” It was so weird and unexpected that you actually thought Taegan was joking. But when you downplayed it with a teasing response, Taegan hissed, “Do you think I’m a fool? I know you’re cheating on me!” and stormed off. You were incredibly embarrassed, and apologized to Chris before leaving to find Taegan. Taegan refused to return your text messages for several hours, but when you two finally talked, Taegan offered a tearful apology: “I’m so sorry—it’s just that I love you so much; seeing you with Chris made me crazy.”

Today you get a call from Chris, asking, “Why did you de-friend me on Facebook?” “I didn’t,” you respond. “Well, you better check your account, because I’ve been removed from your friends list!” Puzzled, you sign on, only to find that several of your friends have been deleted, photos of you with your ex have been removed from your albums, and wall postings from Chris and others have been purged. Suspecting Taegan, you call, and Taegan says, “Yes, I changed your page. I watched you type in your password the other day, and used it to gain access. You know what a jealous person I am! You shouldn’t have had those photos and messages on your page in the first place!”

YOUR TURN

While working through the following steps, keep in mind the concepts, skills, and insights you’ve learned so far in this book, especially in this chapter. Also remember: there are no right answers, so think hard about the choice you make! (Review the Helpful Concepts listed below.)

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