Writing Clear, Informative Lists
Printed Page 198-204
Writing Clear, Informative Lists
Technical documents often contain lists. Lists are especially effective in conveying information that can be itemized (such as three physical conditions that frequently lead to patients’ developing adult-onset diabetes). Lists also work well for presenting information that can be expressed in a sequence (such as the operation of a four-stroke gasoline engine: intake, compression, ignition, exhaust).
This section explains how to create effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.
A paragraph list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are paragraphs, not merely phrases or sentences. Figure 9.1 shows the same information presented in traditional paragraphs and in a paragraph list.
For readers, the chief advantage of a paragraph list is that it makes the information easier to read and remember. Readers see the structure of the discussion— often in a single glance— before they read the details. Once they start reading the list, they can more easily follow the discussion because its design mirrors its logic. For example, a paragraph-list discussion of the four stages of mitosis (prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase) would arrange the stages in the order in which they occur and would use bullets or numbers to distinguish one stage from another. As a result, the paragraph-list format enables readers to navigate the discussion easily and confidently, if only because they can see where the discussion of prophase ends and the discussion of metaphase begins.
The author is presenting one model of categories of human conformity. Creating a paragraph list forces the writer to use key words that sharply focus each bulleted entry.
Notice that the writer of the paragraph list uses italics to emphasize the key term at the start of each bullet item.
Bullet items should be sequenced logically. Here, the sequence for the three types of conformity is from the type in which the person is least committed (compliance) to the type in which the person is most committed (internalization).
By deleting the wordy topic sentences from the traditional paragraphs, the writer saves space. The list version of the passage is about the same length as the paragraph version, despite the indentations.
| TRADITIONAL PARAGRAPHS | PARAGRAPH LIST |
|
Although there are several theories of human conformity, Kelman’s model (1935) is still popular. Kelman described three main types of conformity. The first type of conformity is called compliance. A person who conforms out of compliance changes his or her behavior but not his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. In effect, the person is simply copying someone else’s behavior in order to satisfy some external norm. The second type of conformity is called identification. A person who conforms by identification wants to be like that other person, but he or she might not yet have succeeded in changing his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. The third type of conformity is called internalization. A person who conforms by internalization has undergone a complete change in public behavior and private attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. A member of a cult has conformed by internalizing. |
Although there are several theories of human conformity, Kelman’s model (1935) is still popular. Kelman described three main types of conformity:
|
Figure 9.1 Traditional Paragraphs and a Paragraph List |
|
For you as a writer, turning paragraphs into lists has four advantages:
- It forces you to look at the big picture. While drafting a document, you can easily lose sight of the information outside the paragraph you are writing. Turning traditional paragraphs into paragraph lists expands your perspective beyond a single paragraph, increasing your chances of noticing that an important item is missing or that an item is unclear. It also increases the chances that you’ll think more deeply about how items and key ideas are related to one another.
- It forces you to examine the sequence. As you write paragraph lists, you get a chance to reconsider whether the sequence of the information is logical. Sometimes, the visual dimension that lists add to the text will reveal an illogical sequence you might have overlooked in traditional paragraphs.
- It forces you to create a helpful lead-in. Every list requires a lead-in, or introduction to the list; without one, readers are left to guess at how the list relates to the discussion and how the items in the list relate to each other. In the lead-in, you can add a number signal that further forecasts the content and organization of the material that follows:
Auto sales declined last year because of four major factors:
- It forces you to tighten and clarify your prose. When you make a list, you look for a word, phrase, or sentence that identifies each item. Your focus shifts from weaving sentences together in a paragraph to highlighting key ideas, giving you an opportunity to critically consider those key ideas and revise accordingly.
See a Tech Tip on creating numbered and bulleted lists.
A sentence list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are words, phrases, or single sentences. Figure 9.2 shows a traditional sentence and a list presenting the same information.
If you don’t have enough space to list the items vertically or if you are not permitted to do so, number the items within the sentence:
We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done (1) with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature, (2) with similar fuels at different temperatures, and (3) with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels.
| TRADITIONAL SENTENCE | SENTENCE LIST |
| We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature, with similar fuels at different temperatures, and with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels. | We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done
|
Figure 9.2 A Traditional Sentence and a Sentence List |
|
Creating Effective Lists
These five suggestions will help you write clearer, more effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.
- Set off each listed item with a number, a letter, or a symbol (usually a bullet).
— Use numbered lists to suggest sequence (as in the steps in a set of instructions) or priority (the first item being the most important). Using numbers helps readers see the total number of items in a list. For sublists, use lowercase letters:
- Item
- subitem
- subitem
- Item
- subitem
- subitem
— Use bullets to avoid suggesting either sequence or priority, such as for lists of people (everyone except number 1 gets offended). For sublists, use dashes.
- Item
– subitem
– subitem
For more about designing checklists, see Ch. 12.
— Use an open (unshaded) box (
) for checklists.
- Break up long lists. Because most people can remember only 5 to 9 items easily, break up lists of 10 or more items.
ORIGINAL LIST REVISED LIST Tool kit: Tool kit: handsaw Saws coping saw – handsaw hacksaw – coping saw compass saw – hacksaw adjustable wrench – compass saw box wrench Wrenches Stillson wrench – adjustable wrench socket wrench – box wrench open-end wrench – Stillson wrench Allen wrench – socket wrench – open-end wrench – Allen wrench For more about parallelism, see Ch. 10.
- Present the items in a parallel structure. A list is parallel if all the items have the same grammatical form. For instance, in the parallel list below, each item is a verb phrase.
NONPARALLEL PARALLEL Here is the sequence we plan to follow: Here is the sequence we plan to follow: 1. writing of the preliminary proposal 1. write the preliminary proposal 2. do library research 2. do library research 3. interview with the Bemco vice president 3. interview the Bemco vice president 4. first draft 4. write the first draft 5. revision of the first draft 5. revise the first draft 6. preparing the final draft 6. prepare the final draft - Structure and punctuate the lead-in correctly. The lead-in tells readers how the list relates to the discussion and how the items in the list relate to each other. Although standards vary from one organization to another, the most common lead-in consists of a grammatically complete clause followed by a colon, as shown in the following examples:
Following are the three main assets:
The three main assets are as follows:
The three main assets are the following:
If you cannot use a grammatically complete lead-in, use a dash or no punctuation at all:
The committee found that the employee
did not cause the accident
acted properly immediately after the accident
reported the accident according to procedures
- Punctuate the list correctly. Because rules for punctuating lists vary, you should find out whether people in your organization have a preference. If not, punctuate lists as follows:
— If the items are phrases, use a lowercase letter at the start. Do not use a period or a comma at the end. The white space beneath the last item indicates the end of the list.
The new facility will offer three advantages:
- lower leasing costs
- shorter commuting distance
- a larger pool of potential workers
— If the items are complete sentences, use an uppercase letter at the start and a period at the end.
The new facility will offer three advantages:
- The leasing costs will be lower.
- The commuting distance for most employees will be shorter.
- The pool of potential workers will be larger.
— If the items are phrases followed by complete sentences, start each phrase with an uppercase letter and end it with a period. Begin the complete sentences with uppercase letters and end them with periods. Use italics to emphasize the phrases.
The new facility will offer three advantages:
- Lower leasing costs. The lease will cost $1,800 per month; currently we pay $2,300.
- Shorter commuting distance. Our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.
- Larger pool of potential workers. In the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.
— If the list consists of two kinds of items— phrases and complete sentences— capitalize each item and end it with a period.
The new facility will offer three advantages:
- Lower leasing costs.
- Shorter commuting distance. Our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.
- Larger pool of potential workers. In the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.
In most lists, the second and subsequent lines, called turnovers, align under the first letter of the first line, highlighting the bullet or number to the left of the text. This hanging indentation helps the reader see and understand the organization of the passage.
In many other cultures, headings and lists are considered too informal for some documents. Try to find samples written by people from the culture you are addressing to examine their use of headings and lists. Consider the following questions in studying documents from other cultures:
- How does the writer make the information accessible? That is, how does the writer help readers easily find the information they need, without flipping through pages or clicking links unnecessarily?
- How does the writer show the relationship among types of information? Are they grouped, highlighted, listed, set off by headings, or set in a typeface different from that used for other types of information? When information that can be itemized or sequenced is conveyed, what form does the itemization or sequencing take?
- How does the writer communicate to readers the organization of the document as a whole and of the parts making up the whole?
- How does the writer make transitions from one subject to another? As noted earlier, a heading eliminates the need for awkward transitional sentences. In some cultures, however, the heading itself would be considered awkward—and possibly brusque, informal, or disrespectful.