Writing Clear, Informative Lists

Printed Page 198-204

Writing Clear, Informative Lists

Technical documents often contain lists. Lists are especially effective in conveying information that can be itemized (such as three physical conditions that frequently lead to patients’ developing adult-onset diabetes). Lists also work well for presenting information that can be expressed in a sequence (such as the operation of a four-stroke gasoline engine: intake, compression, ignition, exhaust).

This section explains how to create effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.

WRITE EFFECTIVE PARAGRAPH LISTS

A paragraph list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are paragraphs, not merely phrases or sentences. Figure 9.1 shows the same information presented in traditional paragraphs and in a paragraph list.

For readers, the chief advantage of a paragraph list is that it makes the information easier to read and remember. Readers see the structure of the discussion— often in a single glance— before they read the details. Once they start reading the list, they can more easily follow the discussion because its design mirrors its logic. For example, a paragraph-list discussion of the four stages of mitosis (prophase, metaphase, anaphase, telophase) would arrange the stages in the order in which they occur and would use bullets or numbers to distinguish one stage from another. As a result, the paragraph-list format enables readers to navigate the discussion easily and confidently, if only because they can see where the discussion of prophase ends and the discussion of metaphase begins.

The author is presenting one model of categories of human conformity. Creating a paragraph list forces the writer to use key words that sharply focus each bulleted entry.

Notice that the writer of the paragraph list uses italics to emphasize the key term at the start of each bullet item.

Bullet items should be sequenced logically. Here, the sequence for the three types of conformity is from the type in which the person is least committed (compliance) to the type in which the person is most committed (internalization).

By deleting the wordy topic sentences from the traditional paragraphs, the writer saves space. The list version of the passage is about the same length as the paragraph version, despite the indentations.

TRADITIONAL PARAGRAPHS PARAGRAPH LIST

Although there are several theories of human conformity, Kelman’s model (1935) is still popular. Kelman described three main types of conformity.

The first type of conformity is called compliance. A person who conforms out of compliance changes his or her behavior but not his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. In effect, the person is simply copying someone else’s behavior in order to satisfy some external norm.

The second type of conformity is called identification. A person who conforms by identification wants to be like that other person, but he or she might not yet have succeeded in changing his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings.

The third type of conformity is called internalization. A person who conforms by internalization has undergone a complete change in public behavior and private attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. A member of a cult has conformed by internalizing.

Although there are several theories of human conformity, Kelman’s model (1935) is still popular. Kelman described three main types of conformity:
  • Compliance. A person who conforms out of compliance changes his or her behavior but not his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. In effect, the person is simply copying someone else’s behavior in order to satisfy some external norm.
  • Identification. A person who conforms by identification wants to be like that other person, but he or she might not yet have succeeded in changing his or her attitudes, thoughts, and feelings.
  • Internalization. A person who conforms by internalization has undergone a complete change in public behavior and private attitudes, thoughts, and feelings. A member of a cult has conformed by internalizing.

Figure 9.1 Traditional Paragraphs and a Paragraph List

For you as a writer, turning paragraphs into lists has four advantages:

See a Tech Tip on creating numbered and bulleted lists.

WRITE EFFECTIVE SENTENCE LISTS

A sentence list is a list in which the bulleted or numbered items are words, phrases, or single sentences. Figure 9.2 shows a traditional sentence and a list presenting the same information.

If you don’t have enough space to list the items vertically or if you are not permitted to do so, number the items within the sentence:

We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done (1) with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature, (2) with similar fuels at different temperatures, and (3) with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels.

TRADITIONAL SENTENCE SENTENCE LIST
We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature, with similar fuels at different temperatures, and with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels. We recommend that more work on heat-exchanger performance be done
  • with a larger variety of different fuels at the same temperature
  • with similar fuels at different temperatures
  • with special fuels such as diesel fuel and shale-oil-derived fuels

Figure 9.2 A Traditional Sentence and a Sentence List

Creating Effective Lists

image

These five suggestions will help you write clearer, more effective paragraph lists and sentence lists.

  • Set off each listed item with a number, a letter, or a symbol (usually a bullet).

    — Use numbered lists to suggest sequence (as in the steps in a set of instructions) or priority (the first item being the most important). Using numbers helps readers see the total number of items in a list. For sublists, use lowercase letters:

  1. Item
    • subitem
    • subitem
  1. Item
    • subitem
    • subitem

— Use bullets to avoid suggesting either sequence or priority, such as for lists of people (everyone except number 1 gets offended). For sublists, use dashes.

  • Item

    – subitem

    – subitem

For more about designing checklists, see Ch. 12.

— Use an open (unshaded) box (image) for checklists.

  • Break up long lists. Because most people can remember only 5 to 9 items easily, break up lists of 10 or more items.
    ORIGINAL LIST REVISED LIST
    Tool kit: Tool kit:
    handsaw Saws
    coping saw – handsaw
    hacksaw – coping saw
    compass saw – hacksaw
    adjustable wrench – compass saw
    box wrench Wrenches
    Stillson wrench – adjustable wrench
    socket wrench – box wrench
    open-end wrench – Stillson wrench
    Allen wrench – socket wrench
    – open-end wrench
    – Allen wrench

    For more about parallelism, see Ch. 10.

  • Present the items in a parallel structure. A list is parallel if all the items have the same grammatical form. For instance, in the parallel list below, each item is a verb phrase.
    NONPARALLEL PARALLEL
    Here is the sequence we plan to follow: Here is the sequence we plan to follow:
    1. writing of the preliminary proposal 1. write the preliminary proposal
    2. do library research 2. do library research
    3. interview with the Bemco vice president 3. interview the Bemco vice president
    4. first draft 4. write the first draft
    5. revision of the first draft 5. revise the first draft
    6. preparing the final draft 6. prepare the final draft
  • Structure and punctuate the lead-in correctly. The lead-in tells readers how the list relates to the discussion and how the items in the list relate to each other. Although standards vary from one organization to another, the most common lead-in consists of a grammatically complete clause followed by a colon, as shown in the following examples:

    Following are the three main assets:

    The three main assets are as follows:

    The three main assets are the following:

    If you cannot use a grammatically complete lead-in, use a dash or no punctuation at all:

    The committee found that the employee

    did not cause the accident

    acted properly immediately after the accident

    reported the accident according to procedures

  • Punctuate the list correctly. Because rules for punctuating lists vary, you should find out whether people in your organization have a preference. If not, punctuate lists as follows:

    — If the items are phrases, use a lowercase letter at the start. Do not use a period or a comma at the end. The white space beneath the last item indicates the end of the list.

    The new facility will offer three advantages:

    • lower leasing costs
    • shorter commuting distance
    • a larger pool of potential workers

    — If the items are complete sentences, use an uppercase letter at the start and a period at the end.

    The new facility will offer three advantages:

    • The leasing costs will be lower.
    • The commuting distance for most employees will be shorter.
    • The pool of potential workers will be larger.

    — If the items are phrases followed by complete sentences, start each phrase with an uppercase letter and end it with a period. Begin the complete sentences with uppercase letters and end them with periods. Use italics to emphasize the phrases.

    The new facility will offer three advantages:

    • Lower leasing costs. The lease will cost $1,800 per month; currently we pay $2,300.
    • Shorter commuting distance. Our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.
    • Larger pool of potential workers. In the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.

    — If the list consists of two kinds of items— phrases and complete sentences— capitalize each item and end it with a period.

    The new facility will offer three advantages:

    • Lower leasing costs.
    • Shorter commuting distance. Our workers’ average commute of 18 minutes would drop to 14 minutes.
    • Larger pool of potential workers. In the last decade, the population has shifted westward to the area near the new facility. As a result, we would increase our potential workforce in both the semiskilled and the managerial categories by relocating.

    In most lists, the second and subsequent lines, called turnovers, align under the first letter of the first line, highlighting the bullet or number to the left of the text. This hanging indentation helps the reader see and understand the organization of the passage.

In many other cultures, headings and lists are considered too informal for some documents. Try to find samples written by people from the culture you are addressing to examine their use of headings and lists. Consider the following questions in studying documents from other cultures: