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 power, 248 symmetrical relationships, 249 complementary relationships, 249
resource currency, 251
expertise currency, 251
social network currency, 251
personal currency, 251
intimacy currency, 251
avoidance, 255
sniping, 255 cumulative annoyance, 255 |
accommodation, 257
competition, 257
collaboration, 258
compromise, 265 integrative agreements, 265 structural improvements, 266 sudden-death statements, 268 demand-withdraw pattern, 270 You can watch brief, illustrative videos of these terms and test your understanding of the concepts by clicking on the VideoCentral features in the chapter. |
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Conflict and Interpersonal Communication
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Conflictarises whenever people’s goals clash or they compete for valued resources. Because everyone is pursuing important goals at any point in time, conflict is inevitable.
- Conflict in close relationships poses unique challenges. Avoid kitchen-sinking, hurling insults and accusations that have little to do with the original dispute.
- Conflict and power go hand in hand because whenever people perceive their goals as clashing, they often wield whatever influence they have to achieve their goals.
- Power is present in all interpersonal communication. Friendships and romantic involvements are typically symmetrical relationships, whereas parent-child, manager-employee, and teacher-student are complementary relationships.
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Dyadic Power Theory proposes that people with only moderate power are the most likely to use controlling communication.
- Power isn’t innate. It’s something granted to you by others, depending on the power currency you possess. Types of power currencies include resource, expertise, social network, personal, and intimacy.
- Different cultures have very different beliefs about power-distance. High power-distance cultures emphasize disparities. Low power-distance cultures typically encourage power equality across all people.
- Across cultures and time, men have consolidated power over women by strategically depriving women of access to power currencies.
- The most commonly used approach to managing conflict is avoidance. However, avoidance can lead to damaging behaviors, including skirting, sniping, cumulative annoyance, and the inability to overcome pseudo-conflict.
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Accommodation, another approach to managing conflict, often is motivated by the desire to please the people we love or to acquiesce to those who have power over us.
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Competition involves the aggressive pursuit of one’s own goals at the expense of others’ goals. Competition can trigger defensive communication and also creates severe risk of escalation.
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- Some people respond to conflict through reactivity, communicating in an emotionally explosive and negative fashion.
- The most constructive approach to conflict is collaboration. This is your best bet for reinforcing trust and commitment in your relationships and building relational satisfaction.
- Whether a culture is individualistic or collectivistic determines how people manage conflict: individualistic cultures are inclined to approach conflicts more competitively and directly than collectivistic cultures.
- The restrictive nature of online communication can make it challenging to deal productively with conflict. If possible, take the encounter offline.
- In the short term, conflicts resolve through separation, domination, compromise, integrative agreements,orst ructural improvements.
- Then partners involved in the conflict ponder whether they’ve resolved the underlying goal clash that triggered the conflict, and consider the long-term impact on their relationship.
Challenges to Handling Conflict
- During conflicts we engage in self-enhancing thoughts through which we selectively remember information that supports ourselves and contradicts those with whom we are in conflict.
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Sudden-death statements occur when people get so angry that they suddenly declare the end of the relationship. The most destructive form is dirty secrets.
- In close relationships, there is a risk of engaging in serial arguments, which may lead to demand-withdraw patterns.
- When people believe that no other option exists, they may commit acts of violence. One outcome is the chilling effect, when partners stop discussing certain issues in an attempt to stop any negative reactions in advance.
- Some conflicts are impossible to resolve. In this case, try to avoid the conflict, hope goals will change over time, or abandon the relationship.
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- Why does power make managing conflict constructively difficult? Find out on pages 248-250.
- Are you inclined to competitively challenge authority during a conflict? Try the Self-Quiz on page 253 to find out.
- What is your approach for managing conflict? Find out by taking the Self-Quiz on page 256.
- Do you manage conflicts through avoidance? If so, you may want to revisit the risks associated with this approach, described on pages 255-256.
- Do you use a competitive approach to deal with conflict? Review the consequences associated with competitiveness on pages 257-258 to see why this might not be the wisest choice.
- Want to improve your ability to use collaboration to constructively manage conflicts? Review the suggestions on pages 258-260, then do the Skills Practice on page 259.
- How might you use your knowledge of gender differences to improve your conflict skills? Revisit the suggestions on page 260.
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- What can people do to constructively manage conflict with individuals from other cultures? See the recommendations on pages 260-262.
- Do you want to resolve online conflicts effectively? If so, review the suggestions on pages 262-263, and then do the Skills Practice on page 263.
- Learn about five short-term conflict resolutions on pages 264-266, and then try the Skills Practice on page 265.
- Want the best possible outcome for your conflicts? Check out the long-term effects of the various conflict approaches on pages 266-267.
- To work toward minimizing self-enhancing thoughts, review the checklist on page 268.
- How might you reduce the likelihood of violence during intense disagreements? Follow the guidelines on pages 270-271.
- How would you approach a seemingly unresolvable family conflict? Find out by completing the Making Relationship Choices exercise on pages 272-273.
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