Real Reference: A Study Tool
Now that you have finished reading this chapter, you can:
Describe the factors that lead to productive conflict:
- Conflict is a negative interaction between interdependent people, rooted in disagreement (p. 214).
- Conflict management refers to how relational partners address disagreements (p. 214).
- Unproductive conflict is conflict that is managed poorly and that has a negative impact (pp. 214–215).
- Productive conflict is healthy and managed effectively. It fosters healthy debate, leads to better decision-making, and spurs relationship growth (p. 215).
Identify conflict triggers in yourself and others:
- Many conflicts are rooted in errors of perception (p. 217).
- Incompatible goals can spark conflict (p. 217).
- Conflicts arise when the costs of an interpersonal relationship outweigh the rewards (p. 218).
- Provocation, the intentional instigation of conflict, arises when one party demonstrates aggression, a person’s identity feels threatened, fairness is lacking, someone you depend on is incompetent, or an important relationship is threatened (p. 218).
Explain the forces that influence how people handle conflict:
- Power dynamics affect relationships in which there is an imbalance of power (p. 219).
- Personal attitudes about whether conflict is good or bad influence whether people engage or avoid dealing with it (pp. 219–220).
- People who take most disagreements as personal insults or assault are engaging in a destructive tendency called taking conflict personally (TCP) (p. 220).
- Communication climate varies and may be uncertain, defensive, or supportive (pp. 220–222).
- Cultural variations, such as individualism/collectivism and high or low context, and co-cultures, such as gender or age, have a strong influence on conflict (pp. 222–224).
- Our reasons for choosing certain communication channels may be rooted in emotions or practical considerations (pp. 224–225).
- The Internet provides an arena for flaming, hurling hostile, insulting online messages at an individual; trolling, posting offensive messages to stir conflict in an online group; and cyberbullying, engaging in repeated abusive attacks through electronic channels (pp. 225–227).
Evaluate and employ strategies for managing conflict in different situations:
- Escapist styles are used to stay away from direct conflict (p. 227). Walking away, changing the subject, or postponing conflict are tactics in the avoiding style, whereas giving in to the other person’s wishes is obliging. Escapist strategies are good for quick resolutions but may leave issues unresolved (p. 228).
- Competitive styles promote the interests of individuals who see conflict as “win-lose” battles (p. 230). In direct fighting, people use assertiveness to argue openly to get their way, which can sometimes lead to verbal aggressiveness, or attacks on individuals personally. Indirect fighting involves using passive-aggressive tactics to express conflict without engaging in it openly (pp. 230–231).
- Cooperative strategies benefit both parties (p. 231). With compromising, both parties give up something to gain something (p. 232). Collaborating involves finding a win-win solution that satisfies all parties. Collaborating involves focusing on issues, asking probing questions and playing devil’s advocate, disclosing your concerns, and attempting to address each other’s underlying needs (pp. 232–234).
Recognize your ability to repair and let go of painful conflict:
- Apologize, or openly take responsibility, for your own misbehavior, including using metacommunication to talk with each other about your communication behaviors (pp. 234–235).
- Forgive in order to emotionally move past the conflict and let go of the bitterness and resentment (p. 235).